My Plan of Happiness

     I realize it's been a whole two weeks at least since my last post. When I started this blog I had great intentions of writing everyday. But at night, when I'm pooped and completely exhausted by children, the last thing I want to do is write about them. In relief society today, Sister Parris told us to pretend that money was no object, our children were cared for, and we had an entire day to ourselves. What would we do? Each of us had the opportunity to voice our plans of happiness out loud. As I listened to my neighbors talk about what made them happy, I realized that everything going through my own mind was centered around my kids, my family. No matter how tired or grumpy or mentally weary I am, they are always my happiness and joy. With that in mind, I think it's time to blog.

     Tawni. My oldest is nearly eighteen. Where did the time go? She often complains about being the experimental child and her complaints are usually valid. Parents have to start somewhere. I am so proud of the woman she has become. She is beautiful and kind, charitable and compassionate. She wrote me a special letter this morning telling me how glad she was to have me for a mom. It made my day. Last night, she went on a date to a rock concert. She's been looking forward to this for a long time and was so excited. She doubled with her friend Megan and Megan's date. Once the concert started, it didn't take very long for the three of them to realize that this wasn't a good place to be. The spirit was absent and Cameron was preparing for a mission and didn't think it was good to stay. Tawni's date made the comment, "I'm glad I'm not going on a mission. I'd have to miss out on all this!"
     That comment broke her heart and made her ache for the missionary she loves who is currently serving the Lord and loving every minute of it. Tawni, Megan, and Cameron made the decision to leave the concert. Tawni came home and cried on my shoulder for a bit. Then she dried her tears and went with Megan and Cameron to watch videos and make breakfast foods. I am so proud of her.
     Rebeka. Forever my sunshine, her smile and fun-loving personality brighten a room the second she arrives. She is happy, goofy, and messy the way a fourteen-year-old should be. She is my social butterfly and spends more time away from home than in it. But that makes the times when she's here even more precious. I love and treasure those rare moments when she plops herself on my bed and says, "Guess what?"
I stop whatever I'm doing and give her my full attention because I know that she's in the mood to talk. And for the next hour she is mine and I am hers. She is a beautiful young woman who grows more so everyday. I love the way she is with Ian and Christeal. Sharing a bedroom with a toddler can't be easy but Beka loves it. She'll take the baby from my arms and say, "I'm putting her to bed tonight." And off they go. With Ian, she knows how to play with him. She knows how to have fun and just enjoy little people without getting stressed. But my gentle lamb is not always so. She definately has the ability to be a lion. I love that about her. The spunk, the fiestiness, the energy... all qualities that I admire.
     Zackary. My almost twelve-year-old is growing up faster than I want. If I could stop time with him I would. He too, is my sunshine. His imagination knows no bounds and he can play for hours by himself. Watching him is like enjoying a one-man play. He acts out all the parts perfectly, never missing a line or cue. And he doesn't know to be embarrassed. He carries on not caring who is watching or listening. I love that innocence and I hold tight to it because I know it will disappear sooner than later. He is so excited for his birthday, to be twelve. He wants to be a deacon and pass the sacrament. Zack has always loved everything about the church. He loves the meetings, the doctrine, the learning, and he possesses an inborn instinct to choose the right. He is also my jokester and loves to tease, scare, torture and gross-out his female family members. But he has a real soft spot. He expressed it best about a year ago when he said to me, "Mom, Dad is for fun. But you are for lovin'."
     Ian. Ah. The fourth gift. He is so excited for Christmas. He helped himself to the decorations over a week ago. You should see his bedroom. He hung lights around his bunkbed and over the closet. He tried hanging a wreath on his door but it kept falling off so Scott put it at the end of his bed. He has lights strewn across his floor and informed me he didn't need his nightlight anymore. I'm able to keep him in line by telling him that Santa is watching. He will ask me daily, "Am I on the good list?" Unfortunately he has so much extra energy from sheer excitement--which gets him into trouble--that I often have to lie and tell him, "Yes. You are on the good list." In my book, effort and good intentions should count for something. He is obsessed with COPS right now. He found, on YouTube, a video of the chipmunks singing the theme song. He listens to it at full blast. Finding the chipmunks led him to some of their christmas songs, which in turn led him to christmas music in general. He is now obsessed with carols. Which I prefer to COPS.
     Christeal. I hope I don't get into trouble for writing about a foster child. Her presence in our home is just too big to skip. What a happy little girl! I'd forgotten how fun a toddler could be, also how much work they are. I'm picking up one mess and she's making two more, but like Scott said, "She's worth it." And she is. She is giggles, baby babbles, squeals, and laughter. She loves to push buttons, carry a purse, and hide valuables in undiscovered locations. My iPOD is still missing, although Tawni found her phone--in the toilet. This tiny human loves trinkets. She likes to carry small objects in her hands and stuff them inside her clothes. She awoke the other night, after only two hours of sleep. She was fussy and cranky so I decided to change her diaper. Inside her jammies I found six game pieces from a chess set, a christmas ornament, and a lightbulb. This morning when I changed her diaper, there was sticker on it that said, "Made in China." Along with that was a tube of toothpaste, toenail clippers, tweezers, and the television remote control. I laugh out loud each time I change her clothes.

     These five people are my treasures. And if I had a whole day to myself, where money was no object, I'd spend it with them.