Wednesday, December 16, 2009


     I don't even know where to start. So much is going on I'm overwhelmed by it all and I'm not the one dealing with it. My poor husband is. Bless him a million times over. It started Sunday night, with Ian. He started throwing up at midnight and several hours later it was coming out both ends. Scott stayed up with him, cleaning it all while letting me sleep. Monday morning came and when I changed the baby's diaper my look of horror would have shocked an entire audience in a modern Michael Meyers flick. Her legs and butt were covered in some kind of rash that looked like small pox and chicken pox and the black plague combined. Meantime, Ian's condition began deteriorating. I hurried to schedule two doctors appointments for the kids. I had to plead with nurses to be seen that morning instead of in the afternoon. I myself was scheduled for surgery at 2:45 to have the right half of my thyroid removed due to a suspicious growth. Nothing like the threat of cancer to make your Christmas season merry and bright. I had to drive downtown for Christeal's doctor appointment and Scott took Ian to his. Christeal has some kind of bacterial skin infection and the doc put her on antibiotics immediately, both oral and topical. I got a text from Scott saying that Ian was so dehydrated he needed to go to the hospital for an IV.
     By this time I was a blubbering mess. I called Julie, sobbing into the phone, asking if she could take me to my surgery so that Scott could stay with Ian. That's all it took. My amazing ward was summoned and they responded like the army of Heleman.
     Suzanne went to the store for gatorade, Christeal's prescriptions, and pull-ups for Ian. Sharlene Wells checked Beka out of school so she could come home and help. Julie picked her up and brought her home. Tawni's teachers were nice enough to let her go home early also and she came to help Beka with Christeal.
     Alta View Hospital couldn't help Ian with what he needed so they sent him in an ambulance up to Primary's with Scott following behind. They poor kid ended up being hospitalized because his electrolites were so screwed up.
    All of this took place by 2:00.
    Service on our behalf continued. Scott's sister, Mindi heard of our plight. She called the girls, checking on them. I think she even went to the house. I'm not sure. I heard about all this after I came out of the anesthesia. She took some dinner to Scott up at Primary's and later spent the night with Ian so Scott could finally come and be with me. Chris Derieg also took dinner to Scott and Brent Schumann showed up to help give Ian a blessing. Dinner came in to my home as well along with phone calls and well wishes. Julie stayed with me.
     I don't know what time it was when I finally got to see my husband. It wasn't long enough for either of us. Christeal started throwing up and he had to leave me at midnight to take care of her.
     It is now Wednesday. Christeal is over her pukes but the rash is still hideous. I'm home. Ian and I both came home yesterday. It's hard to be a mom and know your kids are hurting and you can't be there for them. As soon as I got home I sat with Ian and just rubbed his skinny little legs. It was so good to see him.
     Last night Beka and Zack started throwing up. Tawni locked herself in her room with a can of Lysol hoping to keep the illness at bay. I hope she succeeds.
     My sweet, sweet, husband is taking care of everyone. He cleans up vomit, washes blankets, holds crying people... you should see our family room. Ian is on one couch, Zack on the other, Christeal on the ottoman and Scott brought a cot up for Beka. He's making me stay in my room. The only thing I can do is change Christeal's diapers. He'd do it himself but he has a severe severe allergy to formaldehyde based products and any kind of wipes are the worst. He's exhausted but he keeps saying he's mentally stable. I don't know how. Perhaps there is some divine help. I think there probably is.
     Good news for me. The growth on my thyroid was benign.
     I apologize for the mispelled words/names, scatter-brained thoughts, and bad punctuation. I'm under the influence of Lortab. But the thanks I feel in my heart for my family, friends and neighbors is not under the influence. That is crystal clear. I love you all.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Words of Wisdom

     Ian's COPS obsession is reaching new proportions. I had to create COPS-free time so that the rest of us don't go berserk. Scott changed the volume settings straight from the control panel on the computer so that Ian can't make us deaf with his violent theme song. I dug out actual head phones instead of just ear buds. If Ian insists on listening to COPS while I'm in the kitchen with him, I make him use the head phones. I can still hear the musical noise, but not to the point where I want to do him bodily harm.
     My dear boy loves to act out and pretend that he is a police "occifer". He arrested Beka this afternoon. He grabbed her arms and yanked them behind her back (thank goodness she was prepared otherwise it would have been quite painful) and said in his best authoritative voice, "You're under arrest for public nudity!"
     I took advantage of this declaration, telling Ian that answering the door naked is considered public nudity and begged him to stop doing it. Time will tell if these words of wisdom made it past his earwax.
     But Ian's COPS obsession is not the subject of my post this evening. It just made a good opener. The subject has to do with something that took place at Julie's house on Saturday afternoon. I was visiting with my sweet friend, Ian of course tagging along, making his presence known through loud laughter, raucous behavior, and torturing the female gender. It was time to leave and Ian and Joey were coming back to my house to play. I was trying to find coats and boots. In the meantime, they kept going out the door, coming in the door. Out, in. Out, in. Slam, bang. Fingers nearly pinched. I couldn't take it anymore and something in me snapped.
     "Ian! You little ****! Knock it off!"
     Well, am I proud? I think not. Not only had I resorted to name calling, I had used a foul four-letter word to demonstrate my frustration. Ian stopped cold and slowly turned towards me, eyes like a bush baby. And then it happened. He looked at Joey, Joey looked at him, and they erupted into a volcano of guffaws.
     "You just said a bad word!" he wheezed, pointing his finger at me.
     I'd like to say that I handled his laughter and ridicule well . . . that would be a lie. It just made me more mad. So much so that I repeated the offensive word two more times. Upon arriving home, Ian made sure to tell everyone present what I had said. Whether they were related to us or not.
     Later, as I made some lunch for him and Joey, Ian said to me, "Mom, when you said the s word, I saw Satan reaching in and pulling that word out of your heart. Three times!"
     I guess it's true. Out of the mouths of babes. Who has words of wisdom now?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

My Plan of Happiness

     I realize it's been a whole two weeks at least since my last post. When I started this blog I had great intentions of writing everyday. But at night, when I'm pooped and completely exhausted by children, the last thing I want to do is write about them. In relief society today, Sister Parris told us to pretend that money was no object, our children were cared for, and we had an entire day to ourselves. What would we do? Each of us had the opportunity to voice our plans of happiness out loud. As I listened to my neighbors talk about what made them happy, I realized that everything going through my own mind was centered around my kids, my family. No matter how tired or grumpy or mentally weary I am, they are always my happiness and joy. With that in mind, I think it's time to blog.

     Tawni. My oldest is nearly eighteen. Where did the time go? She often complains about being the experimental child and her complaints are usually valid. Parents have to start somewhere. I am so proud of the woman she has become. She is beautiful and kind, charitable and compassionate. She wrote me a special letter this morning telling me how glad she was to have me for a mom. It made my day. Last night, she went on a date to a rock concert. She's been looking forward to this for a long time and was so excited. She doubled with her friend Megan and Megan's date. Once the concert started, it didn't take very long for the three of them to realize that this wasn't a good place to be. The spirit was absent and Cameron was preparing for a mission and didn't think it was good to stay. Tawni's date made the comment, "I'm glad I'm not going on a mission. I'd have to miss out on all this!"
     That comment broke her heart and made her ache for the missionary she loves who is currently serving the Lord and loving every minute of it. Tawni, Megan, and Cameron made the decision to leave the concert. Tawni came home and cried on my shoulder for a bit. Then she dried her tears and went with Megan and Cameron to watch videos and make breakfast foods. I am so proud of her.
     Rebeka. Forever my sunshine, her smile and fun-loving personality brighten a room the second she arrives. She is happy, goofy, and messy the way a fourteen-year-old should be. She is my social butterfly and spends more time away from home than in it. But that makes the times when she's here even more precious. I love and treasure those rare moments when she plops herself on my bed and says, "Guess what?"
I stop whatever I'm doing and give her my full attention because I know that she's in the mood to talk. And for the next hour she is mine and I am hers. She is a beautiful young woman who grows more so everyday. I love the way she is with Ian and Christeal. Sharing a bedroom with a toddler can't be easy but Beka loves it. She'll take the baby from my arms and say, "I'm putting her to bed tonight." And off they go. With Ian, she knows how to play with him. She knows how to have fun and just enjoy little people without getting stressed. But my gentle lamb is not always so. She definately has the ability to be a lion. I love that about her. The spunk, the fiestiness, the energy... all qualities that I admire.
     Zackary. My almost twelve-year-old is growing up faster than I want. If I could stop time with him I would. He too, is my sunshine. His imagination knows no bounds and he can play for hours by himself. Watching him is like enjoying a one-man play. He acts out all the parts perfectly, never missing a line or cue. And he doesn't know to be embarrassed. He carries on not caring who is watching or listening. I love that innocence and I hold tight to it because I know it will disappear sooner than later. He is so excited for his birthday, to be twelve. He wants to be a deacon and pass the sacrament. Zack has always loved everything about the church. He loves the meetings, the doctrine, the learning, and he possesses an inborn instinct to choose the right. He is also my jokester and loves to tease, scare, torture and gross-out his female family members. But he has a real soft spot. He expressed it best about a year ago when he said to me, "Mom, Dad is for fun. But you are for lovin'."
     Ian. Ah. The fourth gift. He is so excited for Christmas. He helped himself to the decorations over a week ago. You should see his bedroom. He hung lights around his bunkbed and over the closet. He tried hanging a wreath on his door but it kept falling off so Scott put it at the end of his bed. He has lights strewn across his floor and informed me he didn't need his nightlight anymore. I'm able to keep him in line by telling him that Santa is watching. He will ask me daily, "Am I on the good list?" Unfortunately he has so much extra energy from sheer excitement--which gets him into trouble--that I often have to lie and tell him, "Yes. You are on the good list." In my book, effort and good intentions should count for something. He is obsessed with COPS right now. He found, on YouTube, a video of the chipmunks singing the theme song. He listens to it at full blast. Finding the chipmunks led him to some of their christmas songs, which in turn led him to christmas music in general. He is now obsessed with carols. Which I prefer to COPS.
     Christeal. I hope I don't get into trouble for writing about a foster child. Her presence in our home is just too big to skip. What a happy little girl! I'd forgotten how fun a toddler could be, also how much work they are. I'm picking up one mess and she's making two more, but like Scott said, "She's worth it." And she is. She is giggles, baby babbles, squeals, and laughter. She loves to push buttons, carry a purse, and hide valuables in undiscovered locations. My iPOD is still missing, although Tawni found her phone--in the toilet. This tiny human loves trinkets. She likes to carry small objects in her hands and stuff them inside her clothes. She awoke the other night, after only two hours of sleep. She was fussy and cranky so I decided to change her diaper. Inside her jammies I found six game pieces from a chess set, a christmas ornament, and a lightbulb. This morning when I changed her diaper, there was sticker on it that said, "Made in China." Along with that was a tube of toothpaste, toenail clippers, tweezers, and the television remote control. I laugh out loud each time I change her clothes.

     These five people are my treasures. And if I had a whole day to myself, where money was no object, I'd spend it with them.